


John Laurens is helpless for Alexander Hamilton

by Hammylams



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Following a song and a brilliant video, Hercules is the perfect father, Kinda, Lafayette is the perfect gay, M/M, Perfect Alexander (maybe), Really weird and not historically accurate, Socially awkward John, Song fic, Trying out this writing style
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-03-31 20:19:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13982601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hammylams/pseuds/Hammylams
Summary: My first Hamilton fanfic inspired by this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66bV7W2wg4Q Basically Helpless but with Lams and I love it.





	1. The beginning of the ball

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first Hamilton fanfic and it is based on the beautiful and amazing video here; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66bV7W2wg4Q. I really like this pairing - history be damned (says the aspiring historian). Anyway this fic is a weird add on or amendment or novel version of the song - I'm not too sure yet. The lyrics of the song will be in a different font and once again this is just my own piece. Hard but not impossible to watch without the video going side by side.

Lyrics are in Italics

 

_Ohh, I do I do I do I_  
_Dooo! Hey!_  
_Ohh, I do I do I do I_  
_Dooo! Boy you got me_  
_Helpless!!!_

John laurens felt like he was on cloud nine. His heart soared high above the heavens where the spirits and judgement beasts could do little more than watch in jealous fury. He was drunk on love (he was a lightweight but a tiny sip of a drink wasn't enough to make him go this mental - unless Lafayette had slipped him something, the bastard) and he couldn't wish for anything more.

While he danced and swayed and generally made himself the subject of many laughs from his colleagues for years to come, a cacophony of sweet repetitious "heys" seemed to permeate around him - it seemed the fair ladies at the ball who had at one point been completely entrapped in the beautiful man's gaze were now gently guiding and jealously staring at the hopeless figure of John Laurens.

And they were a fair few sweet ladies at the ball, John could say, even if none seemed to be able to capture his eyes like the soldiers back at their regiment did - he even thought he had caught a glance of the Schuyler sisters.

But they all didn't matter at this moment. The strange beautiful man had captured John's heart with a simple glance and now John had to do something. John stumbled like an intoxicated man over to Lafayette who despite putting on an act of tiredness and general indifference, the man was overjoyed at seeing his reclusive friend finally be himself.

Even if he was being a total idiot about it.

So John was singing some tune of feeling helpless to the strangers beautiful and striking glance and a bewildered Lafayette was trying to coax a simple explanation out of him.

It should be simple, right?

_Look into your eyes, and the sky’s the limit I’m helpless!_

All hope for a simple, straightforward answer were quickly dashed and buried like the memories of John's past and the innocuous letters from a girl he could never love (poor Martha would recover one day) that John seemed to be able to suppress or throw away like a leaf in the wind when the man was drunk.

Instead, the shorter man started droning on to the poor French man on how the strangers gaze had in just a split second opened a new world up to John Laurens. The man who seemed to have a faint blush on him constantly which eccentuated his curly short hair and his sharp angelic freckled face. Violet blue eyes wide but hardened by experience and a smile that would make even the sturdiest of enemy soldiers weak to their very knees.

No wonder everyone seemed to want to bed the man. If the rows and rows of people who crowded around him like a bunch of leeches wishing to suck any fame or glory they could for themselves from another individual, was anything to go by. Still; the man found a respectable time to turn around and look at him...

And that smile made his body do things that are probably illegal in half the world. A faint pink light seemed to enwrap the two and it was that moment that John realised that he was gay.

No shit, might be a good response. But he didn't mind too much. If that meant he could appreciate such a gorgeous man such as this. He pined for the man and was swept in a strong wave of emotions. Ranging from pining to pure lust was driving laurens insane.

_Down for the count, and I’m drowning’ in ‘em_

So... maybe his back did hurt a bit when he crashed onto the floor. To be fair, he would have done more if it was too learn more about the man or to at the very least take back the last few minutes of his life that would go down as his most embarassing moments of his short exsistence.

When he was in a stable mind he would hunt down and kill Lafayette. Unless the french man would help set the two up. Right now though, the french man was looking at him pitifully as Laurens acted like a big baby - not a very attractive sight, and something no one (except the creepiest of people that he didn't want to think about right now when he was drunk and pretty defenceless).

"I'm so gay" he shouted and was assualted by a chorus of; "we know" and "shut up if you don't want to die you sodomite" which was a pretty big mood killer. Still he was in heaven and absoloutely helpless but he finally managed to compose himself before he created too big a scene. Thankfully; the man had been wrapped in conversation with a fair maiden across the room and hadn't even glanced back at Laurens.

It was a miracle for John as it saved him from significant future embarrassment or problems with further (if any) social interactions with the stranger, however his envy was bubbling slowly to the surface. He distracted himself by thinking of past parties of the famous French powerhouse that went by the simple name Lafayette to those who he felt were deserving to call him that.

John had, until recently, thought it was because they were such close friends but had found out it was something much sweeter but also infinitely more embarassing. He had yet to tell anyone but when one was drunk, anything was possible.

_I have never been the type to try and grab the spotlight_  
_We were at a revel with some rebels on a hot night_

There was never a truer statements declared in the history of man. John had only been to a few of these social gatherings and they always ended in the same bombastic events and shocking news that would keep the stories of the men fighting at the fronts talking for months to come. Scandalous sex stories or seeing which of the fair maidens had been deflowered and by who. It had always made him slightly uncomfortable and the upbeat atompshere of these occasions was more opressive than anything.

The winters ball was meant to be different; classy, elegant and nothing like the ones for the depravity and scum of society, as his father and many other rich folks would say. However; when it came to devious events such as this, there were few differences.

However things had been very stressful and celebration and relaxation were much overdue and even John could appreciate a break from it all. However, he had wished to grab a drink, casually talk to Lafayette and Hercules for a short while, then sneak out and contemplate life or just relax in his own, "special" ways.

So when he had first walked in he was not expecting anything special from this night. He chatted pleaseantly to his friends before finding a nice, calm corner from which he could them sulk for a short while until he could find an escape route from this hell hole. He sighed over dramatically but no one was paying attention to him.

So he was waiting around restlessly and a suddenlight seemed to pass almost blindingly over him and suddenly he was illuminated like an angel and he was going to kill that sneaky French bastard. As soon as people stopped staring. Luckily Hercules was there to give John a drink and soon his mood liftened as he calmly enjoyed the party. The stress of months of hard fought battles and death had seemed to drain away during these simple, pleasurable moments.

_Laughing at my sister as she’s dazzling the room_

Lafayette was being his usual charming self as he captured the heart of all who's gazes were set upon him. His gay sexual innuendo's were never exactly subtle but they were quite cute and he was sure even the straightest of men would fall for the devilishly handsome man flirting with them.

John was immune to all of this on the principles of their friendship of course and he was happy Hercules was so calm with his "husband" (a very cute nickname, might he add) being so flirtatious. It would have driven John mad but the man had love eyes as large as the moon for the man dazzling the room so John supposed he was used to it and knew where Lafayette's heart was.

_Then you walked in and my heart went “Boom!”_

The stranger entered with another soldier, Aaron Burr, who I have had a few less than pleasant encounters with. It was clear that the strangers non-stop blathering was trying on the other soldier as the mans face clearly told of his wish to just shoot the hero worshipper behind him. John wanted to sympathise with Burr for once in his life but he was too distracted.

He was pretty sure his heart exploded like a cannon when he first saw that man's face. His intelligent eyes, his hunger pang frame...

John would never be the same.

"Man I wish there was a war!" And the striking man had intrigue. At this point, Aaron Burr walked off and the stranger began to walk around the room for other members of the ball to talk to.

Not John though. The weird drink that he was sure was spiked with a number of nasty things had been violently spat out at the sight of the man. It had a weird, disturbing rainbow colour and he was sure any semblance of John's masculinity or dignity had vanished but he wasn't sure he minded.

He knew he had never been straight - as he grew older and his peers were getting acquainted with the ladies, he had always held back or kept to himself and alcohol in order to act as though he was normal or just an introvert. But as he grew older, he worried he was never going to fall in love or be attracted to anyone, let alone a woman.

Well never mind that. Because holy shit, he was gay. His face felt like it was boiling as hot as a volcano and he wasn't sure of where or who he was. It was a big revelation and as John stared restlessly and embarrassingly at the back of the stranger, his mind was racing.

_Tryin’ to catch your eye from the side of the ballroom_  
_Everybody’s dancin’ and the band’s top volume_

The man seemed to be making a joke to the helpless Burr as I was having a mild (lies) gay panic. John wanted to get his attention but above all the craziness of the ball and the chaos going on inside his head, it was not the time for communicating with the man. He needed support.

He needed mommayette (it's genius) and gay mom support so he braced the ongoing ball to find his supportive, parental figure.

_Grind to the rhythm as we wine and dine_

There was so many people and it was somewhat intimidating for the more introverted John but he percervered. He was not about to let this once in a lifetime oppurtunity go. He saw him getting up close and personal with Hercules and so he quickly swept through the room to get to the two lovers who had a few jealous onlookers.

_Grab my sister,_

The two were monstrously flirting ("stop it" "Oh I love it when you get bossy" "I will hit you with a baguette") and it was all sweet and normally John would sliently watch and be happy for the two but he had other things on his mind and he needed the support. Hercules weakly cried to give the French man back but he was in a state of shock and John was in no mood for compromise. He needed comfort and a good image for this attractive stranger and Lafayette would help him. He must.

_and_  
_Whisper,_

He asks him if he could whisper his spiraling thoughts and wishes in the french gay mans ear and perhaps out of pity (although Lafayette can see the gay that is bouncing and soaring out of the young mans eyes) and so he lets him.

_“Yo, this_  
_One’s mine.”_

The french man seems to stiffen at John's very odd, innocent and overall confusing statement. John quickly clarifies with a cute little point at the man who he had set his eyes on. True he didn't know him yet, but he was tired of his search for love and he needed to at least attempt to strike up a conversation with the man.

Screw his social awkwardness.

Thankfully, despite the abrupt introduction and Lafayette being a married man, he could appreciate a fabulous view and knew when someone truly sparkled, despite only having a back view. Lafayette turned to John and started bouncing around on the spot like a child high on caffeine as he practically screeched at how he knew that John had finally fallen for someone. It was cute but also scary as the French man swayed and calmed himself before heading towards the mans direction. He was going to introduce himself to the stranger.

Shit.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things escalate as the two lovers finally lock eyes (and not much more, sorry guys. Tomorrow I promise).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are enjoying this fic (I've never really written something like this before). Leave a Kudos if you enjoy or leave a comment if there's something inconsistent or something I may have done incorrectly as I want to make this the best fic that it can be.

_My sister made her way across the room to you_   
_And I got nervous, thinking “What’s she gonna do?”_

As Lafayette gracefully slid across the room putting on all his charm, panic started to creep up John like a pack of spiders. His nerves were being set alight as John watched with complete nervousness and rising terror. The stranger and Lafayette were having an animated conversation for a number of seconds and for a painful few seconds John wondered if they had a history. If Lafayette would sweep the stranger off his feet and leave Hercules. If he would abandon John.

"Laf you better not!" I mumbled as I shook like a caffeinated animal.

_She grabbed you by the arm, I’m thinkin’ “I’m through”_

He was even bringing his super gay charm and powers to seduce the stranger, gently caressing his arm while giving a knowing, satisfied face. It was weird - John thought he could detect some pain on that face but he decided to ignore it. Lafayette was abandoning him and John only had himself to blame.

Oh no wait there was the kidnapper right there. He was going to get a baguette and murder the French man or maybe call Herc over to sort out the renegade Revolutionarry crew member. There was so much he could or wanted to do but he couldn't move. Didn't want to was out of the question - he was helpless.

But the stranger seemed to be slightly confused at the sudden strange French man who was monstorously flirting with him. Maybe he was straight...

Damnit.

There was a chance the stranger was just not interested in Lafayette but that was basically impossible (the man was otherworldy hot, even John could admit that despite the man being more of a mother figure to him), and knowing John's luck, the one man who he could ever love or at least find attractive would be unavaliable. It hurt; after he had left his family and his history behind him, the world seemed intent on watching and dragging all his confusing and painful memories back on.

John was about to give up - to leave the party after a soloum goodbye to Herc and to go have a cry. Sounded about right in the life and times of John Laurens. He even spotted the Schuyler sisters giggling and pointing at the attractive pair, likely setting their sights themselves on the man. They could offer much more than John could and with all these hot and rich people surrounding the stranger, John should have never gotten his hopes up.

_Then you look back at me and suddenly I’m_   
_Helpless!_

He was pretty sure his face flushed a crimson red as the blood that had previously raced through southen areas of his body to his head. He heated up at least 100 degrees and the room seemed to disappear as the man's sharp, piercing eyes gazed majestically back at John. It was the face of pure hotness and his innocence of the situation helped create those kind but confused eyes.

Internally, John was screaming and squealing and hyperacting like a child and although in a more stable state of mind he would be hating this reaction and side of him or wishing this wasn't the case, he was now blushing like mad as his mind was wiped of all thoughts or issues. It was liberating; calming and just so sweet and damn did it feel good.

John Laurens didn't feel so helpless. At least in other areas of his life. He could almost feel his mother watching over him from the heavens with one of her womanly and kind smiles but that was perhaps hoping for too much.

Still he had never felt so elated and joyous. The man hadn't even reached him yet and already he knew he was his.

He may have been an idiot, but he had a crush. Finally. The backround orchastra of women singing his praises was starting to esculate in time with John's growing attractions and he would be lying if he didn't feel some pride that the man was looking solely at him right now.

_Oh, look at those eyes_

Those eyes that seemed to highlight the colours of a rainbow shone to John. Perhaps he was exaggerating or just looking into things too closely but he could sense the endless love and passion that emanated from the mans eyes.

So he was bi. Strange, but that didn't discourage John.

He was avaliable. That alone was great. John was pretty sure he clasped his hand over his mouth in shock and boy was that pathetic. But fuck it - this guy was cute and looking at him and John may have found the one.

He knew this wasn't any kind of fairy tale but fuck it he was swept up in all these spiraling emotions that he was feeling pretty helpless.

_Look into your eyes_   
_And the sky’s the limit_   
_I’m_   
_Helpless!_

The background chants were turning into sweeter notes of romance but they seemed to have an edge of annoyance to them - as though jealous of this very moment. John would and could examine it more closely or why Lafayette's face was an odd contortion and conflicting feelings towards the situation. But really, how much of that was important?

A lot, a part of himself filled in but damn did he not care at this particular moment.

_Oh!_   
_Yeah, I’m_   
_Helpless, I know_

_Down for the count_   
_And I’m drownin' in 'em_

Those eyes were pretty great so as his inner psyche of joy and love raced childishly around the room he couldn't do anything but stare. It was pathetic and he was sure that the persona and personality he had built up over so many years was fading and decaying and damn did he not give a damn.

This was nice.

_I’m so into you_   
_I am so into you_

This was really sad but at the same time rather nice and comforting and he started to squeal as he felt hearts arubt from within him and spread throughout the room. At least the singing ladies seemed to be the only ones focusing on the situation and really they were in there only little world, anyway, like him.

_I know I’m down for the count_   
_And I’m drownin’ in ‘em._

At this point he dropped to the floor like he had just passed out as he squealed and was overjoyed at this exillerating development. He knew his poor heart couldn't handle too much more but damn the two were drawing nearer and it was time to talk to this stranger.

Eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the kinda short chapter. I've been feeling pretty ill and I've got mocks coming up. I'll finish this as soon as I can while putting in all my love and effort. It still feels kinda weird since I've only done like a minute and twenty two seconds of the video but I feel like I know what I need to do.
> 
> Thank you for the support and I hope I'll have another chapter tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Alexander finally meet as their romance quickly blossoms and they get engaged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is quite long but I thank you all for the support. This has definitely been an experience but one I have enjoyed immensely. Anyway I hope you enjoy.
> 
> And also, now I can start calling him Alexander and not stranger lol.

"I'm dying." That was what was happening. It was a heart attack; his frantically beating heart, his ever increasing pulse and blood that was seeming to only stay by his face. It was bad for his health but he was too high in heaven and happy.

"Where are you taking me?" The man asked with clear, open uncertainty to Lafayette.  
"I'm about to change your life" Lafayette replied with complete honesty and certainty that only exemplified his charm and sexiness. Herc was a lucky guy.

And maybe John would be if that attractive guy ever came over to him. The seconds were starting to drag as they came closer to him and his nerves grew but he knew there was no going back and he would regret leaving for the rest of his life even if he could.

He had to be tough.

"Then by all means lead the way" Damn this guy was flirting back with Lafayette. What the actual fuck? It was times like these where John hated that Lafayette would always "forget" to wear that ring to show he was married - even if it was only a ring gift by Herc that made them jokingly call themselves husbands. It was endearing but John's blood was slightly boiling at the idea that Lafayette was being so open and flirtatious and potentially cheating on Herc.

Still John had little time to think as the two finally came within a few feet of him.

"John Laurens" He said with complete certainty that he wasn't sure of the origins of. He had been expecting some kind of panic or nervousness to kick in but the only thing that betrayed his calm and warm introduction was his eyes. They were still slightly frantic and quite open and caring - a perfect reflection to the stranger who likewise had the same effect with his eyes. It was weird but also endearing and exuberating.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," John said with a slight blush and as much composure and strength he could even as he knew he was falling apart in the inside at the sight of the stranger.

Lafayette had a grin on his face - satisfied at what he had brought together even if there was some slight pain behind his eyes. John swept that aside in his mind as the stranger opened his mouth to speak.

"Laurens?" The man asked with some confusion - how had Lafayette introduced him exactly. John was about to ask Lafayette for some clarification before the tall French man replied earnestly and with complete respect:  
"My gay son." Normally, John would have complained about this for all the shades of wrong that encompassed this statement but above all it was the calmness in Lafayette's voice that made John wonder;

'Why does he sound pained?'

But John was never the most observant, even in his best of moments and so when he glanced back at the stranger everything seemed to vanish. The man had stars - actual stars in his eyes. Was it that the man realised John was available; surprise at meeting a gay man, or was it the man suddenly seeing John in a new light. A more romantic light.

John could dream, or at least internally monologue to himself.

"The name is Alexander Hamilton," the man seemed to serenade to John. He clasped John's hand lightly and planted a soft kiss onto the back of John's hand.   
"It is a shame we did not meet as soldiers, you would have made these many cold and unforgiving nights much more promising."

Damn was Alexander a master at flirting. John's brain seemed to short circuit and there was no point in trying to maintain a stoic image so he went for a compliment instead.  
"Thank you for all your service." True they were both fighting on the same side, even if not in the same area but Alexander did not seem to mind as he turned up his charm even more for his next statement.

"If it takes fighting a war for us to meet, it will have been worth it." Hamilton said as he put his arm around me and drew uncomfortably close. No. Not uncomfortably. He fit well and John wanted more of this closeness. The uncomfortable feeling was coming more from his pants. Damn. And he thought all his blood was in his face.

It appeared, apparently, that blood could occupy both areas. How fascinating. The wink that accompanied Alexanders face was enough clarification for John that his feelings were reciprocated and damn was this all new sensations to him. And then there was the totally platonic kiss on his cheek that all straight men shared and was there really any doubt in either men's minds for how future events would turn out.

"I’ll leave you to it." Lafayette declared but his decree fell on deaf ears as the two men were entwined in each other. The French man returned (but truthfully was dragged) to his lover Hercules and even as they flirted and continued with the ball, the two men kept their eyes on the new couple. Alexander laughed at the small event with the other couple while John was lightly caressing his own cheek at where the sweet kiss had been placed and was blushing profusely. Then they renewed their conversation.

After a few hours of conversations about their life or interests or just daily activities on the front line, the two men crept outside of their regiments to get more intimate and the two parental men were slightly worried for John. Still; they knew what he was going through and hoped it would turn out as successfully for him as it had for them.

They doubted it wouldn't.

_One week later_   
_I’m writin’ a letter nightly_   
_Now my life gets better, every letter that you write me_

In a short week, with little conflict happening around them, the two had written tens of letters to each other while also sneaking off from their regiment every chance they got to "talk" to each other more. The romance was blossoming with Alexanders skills with words were blatant and only helped in further drawing John to this wonder and God of a man.

" **Cold in my professions, warm in friendships, I wish, my Dear Laurens, it might be in my power, by action rather than words, to convince you that I love you. I shall only tell you that 'till you bade us Adieu, I hardly knew the value you had taught my heart to set upon you. Indeed, my friend, it was not well done. You know the opinion I entertain of mankind, and how much it is my desire to preserve myself free from particular attachments, and to keep my happiness independent on the caprice of others. You should not have taken advantage of my sensibility to steal into my affections without my consent. But as you have done it and as we are generally indulgent to those we love, I shall not scruple to pardon the fraud you have committed, on condition that for my sake, if not for your own, you will always continue to merit the partiality, which you have so artfully instilled into me.** "

Some of the many precious words he wrote to me that he would always hold close to him.

It was sweet and he knew that it was draining some of his precious relaxation time before a period of conflict that would keep both busy but right at that moment he didn't care. It made John feel loved in a way his family never could. His mother with her warm loving eyes and endless smiles would always be treasured in his heart but Alexanders existence was what he would hold precious in his waking life. He knew she would be proud and happy for him.

_Laughin’ at my sister, cuz she wants to form a harem_

Lafayette had been watching his latest swoon and examination of letters with some amusement but also slight worry. Perhaps it was a part of his reaction from a week prior when the first letter arrived and he cautioned John to "be careful of that one love, he will do what it takes to survive." John had been confused but had set it aside and was now rolling around in his letters.

Lafayette finally spoke up;

_I'm just sayin’, if you really loved me, you would share him_

That was one of Lafayette's many flirtatious statements and John knew to respond to it with nothing more than a simple laugh. To spite him then, John took a blank sheet of paper he was going to use to respond to Alexanders latest statement by making a paper air plane and throwing it at the French mans face. He was slightly annoyed but soon let it go at seeing the joy painted on John's sweet, innocent face.

The French man left to find his lover and partake in their new favourite past time of doing reenactments of the younger couples letters with increasingly non-nonsensical jokes that only the two found funny due to their mutual love and care for John.

_Two weeks later_   
_In the living room stressin’_

John was shaking and all over the place as he watched through the hallway at what may have been the most pivotal moment of his life. Lafayette was seemingly relaxed and non-caring as he watched from afar at the unfolding events but a more observant bystander may have noticed his own piqued interest and watchful eye.

_My father’s stone-faced_   
_While you’re asking for his blessin’_

Despite having only known each other for three weeks, time was sacred on the battlefield and both knew of their spark and connection to each other, so Alexander had proposed to him. He was now asking Herc for his blessing. Lafayette would have given it right away but having yet to have a proper exchange with Alexander, Herc was interested to learn more about Hamilton.

John had expected Alex to come out with his usual grand words and declerations and wow his father substitute. He expected him to explain all the reasons the two worked together so well. Instead...

Well Alexander was being pretty pathetic.

Not that John meant for offence by this. It was clear the passion and energy in Alexander that signified his love and it was really endearing. It did show the care he felt for John.

It was just...

"Ah, I see you're pretty homo." Cringy would not even begin to describe it. It didn't sound nasty or with the intent for offence but it appeared from Herc's facial expressions that he was unamused or did not care for Alexander's excitement.   
"I'm pretty homo too!" You couldn't fault Alexander for his passion or meaning but it was fairly awkward and he was pretty sure it was the pressure and stress of the meeting that was causing this new side to Alexander.

Another time he would have lightly teased the man or tried to further explore this side of the man where his confidence and eloquence seemed stripped and a more childish persona of Alexander came out. Unfortunately, now was not the optimal time and John could do little more than panic and curse this change in personality as John dropped to the floor with a slump. From behind him, he swore he could hear Lafayette's giggles and that was not a pleasant accompaniment to this situation.

_I’m dying inside, as_   
_You wine_   
_And dine_   
_And I’m tryin’ not to cry_   
_‘cause there’s nothing that your mind can’t do_

He didn't really know where things could go or what would occur but he knew Herc wouldn't favourite Alex unlike Lafayette and would indeed fall into the stereotypical oppressive dad to his daughter if need be. It was embarrassing and while he normally appreciated it, John's mind was now a spiral of sadness and disappointment. It was all a bit overwhelming. Still; the french man behind him continued to laugh so this was either an odd bit of selfish joy from another's pain, especially towards John, or Lafayette knew what was going on.

_My father makes his way across the room_   
_To you_   
_I panic for a second, thinking_   
_“we’re through”_

Hercules was slowly making his way across the room to you why John started silently hyperventilating at the scene taking place before me. He was still hiding around a corner and was ready to step out and shout something embarrassing such as "objection" if Herc started seriously criticising Alexander.

_But then he shakes your hand and says_   
_“Be true”_

Those two simple words held so much relief and salvation and Alexander had completed his one job. It was amazing and may have easily topped John's list of favourite moments of his whole life.

_And you turn back to me, smiling, and I’m_   
_Helpless!_

John started to practically squeal in delight and relief at the accomplishment and without thinking and just feeling his passionate feelings to Alex, he rushed at the man and embraced him with so much energy and care and he was sure Alex was knocked off balance by the embrace but John found that neither would want to give up this moment for something as simple as air when they had each other.

_Helpless!_   
_Hoo!_

  
Life was finally turning out right and he felt above the world. In the background, he could hear Lafayette and Hercules share a small conversation with each other. In his euphoria, he couldn't tell apart their words but a soft hum from Hercules seemed to show his honest care and agreement for the couple and that was enough.

He may have also heard a small fight about who would throw the flowers at the wedding but right now that was their concerns.

_That boy is mine_   
_That boy is mine!_

It was an odd little embrace they had going on after the hug. He tightly held Alexanders hand to show his resolve and unspoken promise to never let the other man go while they did a small circle around each other. It was sweet and said a lot with few to no words but words didn't need to be shared and he was over the moon at the current state of matters.

_Helpless! Helpless!_   
_Down for the count_   
_And I’m drownin’ in em_

When they finally separated, both of his 'parents' (and John really wished they were his biological parents) were crying with Lafayette seeming proud that John had grown (despite John feeling he had done very little over the past 3 weeks) and Herc in a moment of odd character breaking moment as the protective father, was crying into a handkerchief.

It was surreal but so amazing but John had little time for further contemplation. As John held Alex with both hands around the others arm, Alex led him outside to have a quiet chat with the man.

What he got was not what he was expecting but it was exhilarating none the less.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was quite long but I managed to cover about a minute and a half (hopefully I can fit all the rest in another chapter by either tommorow or Monday) and I finally got the two lovers to meet. I can't wait to do Alexanders rap and I thank you all through all the support - I definitely feel like I've got a lot of experience from writing this.


	4. the wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two finally get married as I finish the first fic I'm fully proud of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah sorry this is a bit late but I had revise for English mock for Monday and I wanted to be the best fic I could possible. If you guys have any suggestions for improvements than comment as it would really be helpful in making my writing a lot better. Also; if there are any other songs from Hamilton where this married couple could make for interesting fics then suggest them in the comments - I really like this couple and I would like to add more to this universe using more songs for this couple.
> 
> Also yeah I changed John to Jack because it felt right lol. It might be a little stupid and I'm not sure if it was the best choice but hopefully it wasn't too weird or ruined things.
> 
> Anyway hope you enjoy.

"Jackie." It had been an endearing nickname that Alexander had come up with for John from the first few conversations that had during that fateful night they met. John Lauren's, they both had decided, held a past of an abusive father and while he loved his mother dearly, John had decided that Jack Hamilton would be his new name. It had sounded weird and both Lafayette and Hercules had raised an eyebrow to it.

But John... no Jack knew what he wanted. And now the nickname Alex had come up for him was something he held tightly to his heart. It was important, as proof that there was someone who cared for him in the same vein as Lafayette and Hercules.

_I don’t have a dollar to my name_   
_An acre of land, a troop to command, a dollop of fame_

Alex was quite self-deprecating at times. The man was a genius with passions that could rival the entire British army. But it seemed that underneath layers of confidence and strength was a child who had been through so much horrors and had baggage that would forever give him the view that he was inferior. That because of all he had suffered, he wasn't worthy of all the good things in his life.

For some reason he had applied Jack among the things that were too good for him. John would never understand why - he was nothing special and even if the two of them fit so perfectly; had a bond that they were sure no other couple had, Jack knew that without Alex he would be nothing special.

It was sad but it was perhaps these harsh feelings both had inside that allowed them to be so special for each other. It sounded silly, but in a way it fit. It was right for the both of them.

Alexander's line about being really poor had brought a small smile to Jack - neither men were rolling in money but Alex had this strange ideology that since Jack had come from luxury, he deserved to marry someone rich. It was silly and Jack had been slowly showing how wrong this was.

_All I have’s my honor, a tolerance for pain_

Jack had smiled - he was always happy when Alex acknowledged his honour. Some would say it created arrogance and this superior image in Alex but Jack knew that the other man needed this - he needed this strength and boost in his image. It was sad that Jack couldn't do more than praise and treat him as well as he could but if that was enough then he would do it for the rest of his days.

Alex's grin at the second statement caused some concern in Jack. The man had been through a lot but hopefully he hadn't grown used and perhaps endorsed pleasure from pain. Jack never knew but that was okay as long as he never caused pain or grief for the other man.

_A couple of college credits and my top-notch brain_

There was the image that many people could see of Alexander come back and it always helped Jack feel like the man was making progress - like he truly felt like the great man he was. But these moments were fleeting and he never would know where the two stood.

_Insane, your family brings out a different side of me_   
_Hercules confides in me, Lafayette tried to take a bite of me_

That was slightly concerning. His unconventional family could be a bit much at times but did Lafayette have to actually bite Alex in order to... what exactly? At least Alex hadn't been in conflict with a rabid dog and got bitten. Unlike that other time. But at that moment he didn't mind too much - he wondered what gossip Alex had on Hercules.

Oh well, that could wait.

Especially as Alex had now grabbed and was mushing his face as if to show that he was only Jack's. A bit of a pointless act but if it assured him then he could do whatever he wanted - especially if it made Jack feel special.

_No stress, my love for you is never in doubt_

With that, and to prove his words, he gently put both of their foreheads together. It was a loving embrace; comforting and filled with warmth. It made both men feel whole in a way words and their exchanges of bodies every night could never give.

_We’ll get a little place in Harlem and we’ll figure it out_

That had been their plan. Find a small but peaceful area once the war was over and settle down. Maybe figure out a way to have kids and raise a family while they raised the new nation what would become the great America. It wasn't the best or most thought out plan but it sounded sweet and wonderful to both men and really that was what mattered most to both of the men.

_I’ve been livin’ without a family since I was a child_   
_My father left, my mother died, I grew up buckwild_   
_But I’ll never forget my mother’s face, that was real_   
_And long as I’m alive, Jack, swear to God_

He knew how painful it was for Alex to talk about his past but the way he serenely sang it to Jack showed how far in those few short weeks the twos relationship had developed. And god his voice alongside that blush;

He would be the death of Jack.

And at that moment, neither men seemed to care too much.

The next two months passed by. Some conflict kept the reception and planning held back by a number of weeks but finally the day arrived. Everything had been set up and prepared by the loving and caring people around the two men.

On the day in question, Lafayette and Hercules were playing the typical parents for Jack - both blushing and shedding silent tears as they romanticised their "sons" life, lamenting on how time had passed and making sure that Jack would never forget them and always write to them.

It was unnecessary and in some ways belittling to Jack but he could do nothing more than blush. It only made the whole thing feel more real - that he would be marrying the man of his dreams and for once in his life felt complete and whole. It was a strange feeling but Jack wouldn't curse it or wish for anything to be particularly different.

Meanwhile; Alexander was over the moon. He had finally met someone who despite being so much better than himself, loved him all the same and Alex realised just how special and precious Jack was. He was currently madly hugging his father substitute, George Washington, still not over the excitement and general overwhelming happiness of getting married to the man he loved.

The Schyleur sisters, who were had been watching many of the unfolding events and had been graciously invited to the event, had been bemused to the whole events. They had wished to question many of the specifics but it soon seemed to matter less and less as they saw the happiness and love that both men glowed with.

Plus, it could make for very good blackmail. Okay, none of them were that evil... although maybe Peggy was. Although her eyes seemed glued to the unfolding events of the lovers.

_My life is gon’ be fine cuz Jackie’s in it._

Simple statements like that often meant just as much as all the sweet romantic declarations the two would make over their pages and pages of writings.

_I look into your eyes, and the sky’s the limit_   
_I’m drownin’ in ‘em._

Despite having this odd little dance side by side, the two had never felt so right and connected. They glowed and shared the beauty of the moment as the wedding reception started. Everyone seemed to be in shock, tears streaming down many of the participants faces as they watched the lovers marriage.

Hercules threw flowers as Lafayette watched with slight regret and envy at having been compromised on such a special and sweet event. Even the normally calm, composed and strong George Washington was doing his best poker face while occasional tears slowly fell down his face. It was shocking but nonetheless sweet and meaningful.

Both seemed to have a continuous blush over the many weeks that the two had known each other. Alex had the smallest of blushes but the piercing sexy bedroom eyes that now seemed to only be for Jack stared back at him. Everything about the man was truly perfect and the fact he wanted to share this with Jack, especially for the rest of their lives, was outstanding.

In the background, a gentle rumble and chorus of;

_In New York, you can be a new man…_   
_In New York, you can be a new man…_   
_In New York, you can be a new man…_

seemed to waft around the room and draw the two men ever closer. It seemed that the two's experiences had shaped each other and had allowed them to be perfect for each other as they fell into each others arms. They got closer, both getting more and more helpless and needing more of each other. They last thing they needed to do to make their marriage official was kiss.

And even in their states, as they closed their eyes and both finally felt completely right in their lives, they could do that one simple act.

One slow, deep, loving kiss even as both felt so _Helpless._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow was this a fun 4 days (and nearly five since there's only 25 minutes left of the day over here in the UK). I know this isn't the best but hope you all enjoyed and I can't wait to write more in the future.
> 
> Maybe more Lams or Ace attorney or maybe I'll dabble in another fandom. Anyway I hope you enjoyed.

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah there will be more parts as I'm only 50 seconds into this video right now but I've been sitting on this for a few days and I want to hear any criticisms or ways to improve so I can make this the best piece possible. This is also my first Hamilton fanfic after reading and enjoying so many so hopefully I managed to capture a bit of my love for this pairing (of course they haven't even met yet which is kinda why I wanted to take a small break to make sure I really capture the dynamic I want.)
> 
> This might not be great but I hope you enjoyed.


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